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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27926869">Another Suitcase</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeYouthUnknown/pseuds/ArcadeYouthUnknown'>ArcadeYouthUnknown</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Study, Episode: s02e03 School Reunion, F/M, Introspection, Missing Scene, Not Beta Read, Rose Tyler Loves the Doctor, The Doctor Loves Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:54:51</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,280</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27926869</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArcadeYouthUnknown/pseuds/ArcadeYouthUnknown</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>She didn't understand. How could she? The 20 year old girl from London. He bit back the resentment building up inside him. Not at her, but at himself. For putting her in this position, for allowing him to get so close, for breaking her heart.</i>
</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>27</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Another Suitcase</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Another little introspection, but this time with a cheeky bit of missing scene! </p><p>I didn't really try to differentiate who was speaking, as 90% of the dialogue comes straight from the episode. hopefully you can still follow along :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The Doctor watched as Sarah and Mickey walked out of the shop, K9 in tow, and towards her car. His eyes were following them, but his mind was elsewhere, far away, lost back in her words. </p><p><i>You just dumped me.</i> Did he? He hated that word. <i>Dumped.</i> Like she was nothing special. She was Sarah Jane! She was amazing! All the same, he couldn't help from thinking that she wasn't actually wrong, in a way. His hearts broke as he thought about it. <i>You just dumped me.</i> Her voice echoed in his head, words settling in, invading his mind and soul as he realised what he did to her. He looked at her as she loaded K9 into the back of his car, a chill setting in as the thought shook him to his core.</p><p>"So how's Sarah Jane?"</p><p>He almost jumped at the sound of Rose's voice, somewhere off behind him, as she pulled him out of his thoughts. He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a second to collect himself as he tried to push Sarah's words from his mind. He was about to respond when he turned and looked up at the blonde.</p><p>She wasn't happy.</p><p>He silently chastised himself for almost not hearing the malice in her voice, for letting his thoughts cloud his ability to hear the tone of Rose's words and understand her mood without even seeing her. </p><p>His face dropped in response to seeing hers. Mickey was right. <i>The missus and the ex.</i> Another term he hated. His eyes met hers, and he could see the pain and desperation written all over them. Or maybe he was just getting good at reading her.</p><p>"Rose. What's wrong?"</p><p>He kept his voice level, soft - like talking to a scared puppy. The emotions written all over her face were surely answered with his own - care, concern, and a deep seated longing for her utmost well-being.</p><p>"Nothing!"</p><p>She looked down at the cuff of her sleeve and started fiddling with it in a way that he knew meant she was lying. This was far from nothing. If her face didn't already give it away, her mannerisms always would. He already knew what this was about, and he wasn't ready for it. </p><p>"It's just… it must be nice to catch up with old friends"</p><p>She tried her best to hide the pain from her voice. But he could hear it. The way she spun the word <i>friends,</i> twisted it with a raw bitterness that she was failing to hide in her face as well.</p><p>The Doctor's face darkened as he realised what this was heading towards. He couldn't handle this. Not now. Not after Sarah. They locked eyes for a few seconds, and then The Doctor tore his away, hurrying out the door.</p><p>Unfortunately, and unsurprisingly, Rose had her own ideas in mind. He saw her in his peripheral vision, rushing up behind him to follow him outside.</p><p>"How many of us have there been traveling with you?"</p><p>The Doctor kept walking. Please dont. Not now. He tried his best to keep his voice level, but he was getting increasingly annoyed. By the Krillitanes, by her, by this cursed life that drove everyone that The Doctor ever got close to into agony. He barely spared a glance backwards as he replied.</p><p>"Does it matter?"</p><p>"Yeah, it does, if I'm just the latest in a long line."</p><p><i>Long line?</i> He’s 900 years old. What? Did she think he was all alone for 900 years? Sometimes it really was obvious just how young and naive she was. He turned finally, accepting that this was happening. whether he liked it or not. </p><p>"As opposed to what?"</p><p>He realised as he said it that he was being harsh. He didn't need to see her face to know that he struck deep. But there she was. Recoiling like he'd struck her. It hurt him, deep down into the very core of his being. He didn't want to see her like this. Couldn't bear that he was the cause.</p><p>"I thought you and me were... I obviously got it wrong."</p><p>Ouch. Now he was the one who just got struck. He never wanted her to think that way, that they were anything short of what they were. Listening to her speak these fears with such terror and pain in her voice made him crumble. </p><p>"I've been to the year five billion, right, but this. Now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind."</p><p>The line trudged up emotions within him that he'd tried so hard earlier to bury down deep. <i>Sarah.</i> He'd never meant to leave her behind. Never meant to leave any of them-</p><p>"Is that what you're going to do to me?"</p><p>"No. Not to you."</p><p>He replied so quickly he almost caught himself off guard. He wanted her to know - <i>needed</i> her to know that she was different. She was unlike anyone he had ever met.</p><p>"But Sarah Jane? You were that close to her once, and now... you never even mention her."</p><p>She didn't understand. How could she? The 20 year old girl from London. He bit back the resentment building up inside him. Not at her, but at himself. For putting her in this position, for allowing him to get so close, for <i>breaking her heart.</i></p><p>"Why not?"</p><p>Something inside himself snapped. A barrier on his emotions. He couldn't hold himself back. The night had been toying with his emotions, and now they were all spilling forward. When he spoke, his walls broke down, and he became totally unhinged.</p><p>"I don't age. I regenerate."</p><p>He seethed with the unfairness of it all. Oh, how much he wanted to be with her. Wholly, unreserved. Without the inevitable end and him having to live without her. Whether now or in 40 years time. How could he carry on, knowing it was bound to end before he was ready?</p><p>"But humans decay. You wither and you die."</p><p>He practically spat the line. Boiling inside his own mind, burning with the rage and the frustration of having to do this. Having to say this to her. His Rose. She's standing in front of him with tears welling up in her eyes. And it <i>hurt.</i> He wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold her, wipe away her tears...</p><p>"Imagine watching that happen to someone that you -"</p><p>Bollocks. He was so far into his emotions that he almost said it. That tiny four letter word that meant so much to her. Of course he loved her. But he couldn't love her in the way that she wanted him to. The way that she deserved to be loved. If there was anything he had learned from the conversation with Sarah Jane, it's that he can't let another human get that close.</p><p>"What, Doctor?"</p><p>He was terrified. Terrified of what he almost admitted. Terrified for what he was about to do to her. Maybe it was better this way. Push her away before she gets attached to him. As attached as he's getting to her... In the end, it'll hurt them both less. He swallowed hard.</p><p>"You can spend the rest of your life with me, but I can't spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone."</p><p>He choked out the word, it tasted terrible on his tongue. He hated being alone. But it was a fact. It killed him to break her heart like this, but there was no other way. She needed to realise what she was getting herself into. He had no other choice.</p><p>"That's the curse of the Time Lords."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! As always, please reach out if you have any scenes that you need overanalyzed.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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